Summer of Our Discontent

cindy adams Summer of Our Discontent

Cindy Adams

If 1967 was the summer of love, 2012 might go down in the history books as the summer of snark. Just last week, Cindy Adams paid tribute to the departed Helen Gurley Brown by calling her chintzy and cheap, kvetching in The New York Post that the Cosmo editor and lipstick feminist once made her go all the way downtown to introduce her at a function, only to send a thank-you gift in a brown paper bag. (The gift, by the way, was a stuffed frog. If there was a coded message there, Ms. Adams clearly missed it while swiping at Ms. Brown’s old Chanel suits.)

Oh, but everyone is in a grumpy mood. (Too much shuttling back and forth on the Jitney, perhaps?) Todd English’s ex-fiancée Erica Wang threw a tantrum after she was caught stealing over a grand of makeup from Sephora—shortly getting fired from Ralph Lauren for her sticky fingers. Police had to drag Ms. Wang out of the cosmetics chain kicking and screaming; her wailing was a rare relief to all those mommies who schlep their bawling babies to department stores. (At least this time it’s not your kid!)

Then there’s the usual city-centric discontent. Overheard on Pier 11 while waiting for the ferry out to New Jersey’s Sandy Hook beach: “You mean I have to pay extra for my bike? Forget it, which one is the free boat to IKEA?” Hey, why bother with the beach and the sun when you can be locked in a windowless maze of cheap furniture and cheaper Swedish meatballs? Just a note: we’re pretty sure you can’t bring your bike into IKEA either, cheapskate.

And City Council Speaker Christine Quinn and District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance Jr. aren’t too happy after finding out they were both victims of identity theft. The district attorney had to find out his card had been compromised the hard way—by discovering his name on a list of targets during a cyber-case his office was prosecuting. (Has there ever been a more appropriate occasion for the wah-wah of a sad trombone?)

Council Speaker Quinn had it worse: while Districy Attorney Vance only had minor charges to his account (he claims that the credit charges to Dunkin’ Donuts made on his card were falsified—he only pays for Dunkins in cash), the nefarious hackers used the card of Ms. Quinn’s wife Kim Catullo to buy one-way tickets to London and Dubai.

No wonder these two are petitioning for a new high-tech crime lab in Manhattan. We’re just petitioning for this long, hot summer to be over. It’s ruining our otherwise sunny disposition.