Artie Lange’s Big Crack-Up

Following a Brutal Knife Attack (Self-Inflicted) and a Stint in a Mental Hospital, the Veteran Funnyman Stages Yet Another Comeback

Back in New York City, Mr. Lange was having bladder-control problems, a sign that he may be pre-diabetic.

“I was like a coyote. I was all over New York, I was leaving my scent,” he said. He was given medication to help fix the problem, which he was slow to take at the time.

147380457 e1347398941549 Artie Lange’s Big Crack Up

Mr. Lange at the Paris Theater in June (photo courtesy of Getty Images)

As a result, accidents happened. Not long ago, as he was conducting an interview on-air, Mr. Lange needed to use the can. He did so literally by picking up a trash can and letting fly. Then he accidentally sloshed his bucket of piss against the wall.

He jokingly asked the Canavan girls, a pair of identical blonde stunners who work as Mr. Lange’s production assistants, to mop up his urine. They refused. Eventually the mess was cleaned up, and he was asked by DirecTV to take a day off. After threatening to quit the show on his Twitter account, Artie eventually returned to the air.

“I am taking the medicine now; it stopped,” he said of his bladder troubles.

Still, whether the pattern of ups and downs for Mr. Lange has stopped remains to be seen. Clean for two years and seeming genuinely giddy to be back on the air, Mr. Lange looks rested, as fresh as a daisy.

While he has intimated in the past that he would like to return to The Howard Stern Show, he appears content to grow what he has with Mr. DiPaolo.

“My situation got so crazy that everybody was in an awkward position that I put them in, so I don’t think that’s a possibility anymore, even if both entities wanted to,” he said of returning to Stern. “A year ago, I would have said it would be amazing, but I listen to Howard all the time, and the show is still great, and I am sure he is happy with it. But this situation is a dream situation for me.”

“The Nick & Artie Show” airs nightly from 10 p.m. – 1 a.m. on DirecTV’s Audience Network

drosen@observer.com