– Wow, remember all those celebrities who we thought were pregnant last week but probably weren’t? Add Beyonce to that list, and take off Kanye West’s ex Amber Rose, who is actually pregnant with Wiz Khalifa’s child. She announced it at the Emmys, which is cool.
-Meanwhile, Kanye West has made two sex tapes! One with a lady who looks a lot like his girlfriend, whom he hasn’t impregnated.
– In unrelated news, Kim Kardashian was last seen screaming into a pillow.
– Lindsay Lohan is in the hospital because of a lung infection, which she had assumed was “walking pneumonia.” Then she ran over its leg and it was “limping pneumonia,” which is much worse.
– Last week DMX made Internet history when he Googled himself for the first time during a segment on Power 105.1. People went nuts over this video. It was like no one had ever seen someone not Google themselves before!
But you know what? I bet a lot of celebrities that are older than Justin Bieber don’t know how to turn on a computer or figure out Google. Like, does Michael Douglas Google? Does Jay Leno? Nic Cage? Just saying.