Do you live in Fort Greene? Enjoy sipping seasonal cocktails outside of Roman’s, playing fetch with your dog in Fort Greene park, bragging to all your friends about how low key and undiscovered and underrated Fort Greene is? Well, if you rent you should probably start skimming the real estate listings right now, as Fort Greene has been declared Brooklyn’s most livable neighborhood by The L Magazine.
Of course, its hard to tell if readers of the hipster glossy will take the ranking to heart, following the prevailing counter cultural fashions of the day, or if they will display a contrarian streak, as they are sometimes wont to do, and seek out the next industrial wasteland to remake in their tattooed image.
The magazine rated the neighborhoods of Brooklyn based on 10 livability measures, among them affordability, culture, greenspace, food, nightlife and accessibility. They selected 13 to highlight; a list that, with the exception of Windsor Terrace and the omission of Crown Heights, should surprise no one.
Fort Greene snagged the top spot on account of its accessibility (two subway lines), abundant green space, stunning brownstones and proximity to cultural institutions like BAM and Greenlight Books. Although, in what may be a nod to the increasing costs of living in Brooklyn, The L Magazine suggests living over the border in Clinton Hill for cheaper rent (alas, even in the outerboroughs, New Yorkers are reduced to living on the proximity of the most desirable neighborhoods).
Park Slope nabbed second place in the rankings, followed by Prospect Heights, fourth place went to an amalgamation that the editors refer to as “South Brooklyn” and Greenpoint took fifth, although the description of Greenpoint was insult-laden, beginning thusly: “It would be disingenuous to continue describing Greenpoint as Williamsburg’s idyllic, under-the-radar northern neighbor.”
The other most livable neighborhoods include Dumbo, Williamsburg (which they deem the go-to neighborhood for interesting people trying to do interesting things despite its ugly architecture and yuppification), Ditmas Park, Brooklyn Heights, Bushwick, Red Hook, Windsor Terrace and Gowanus “the nice thing about Gowanus is that it has remained zoned industrial.”
As with any New York rankings, these will no doubt produce a mixture of joy, anxiety, bruised pride and bragging. We want our neighborhood to be the best! Our neighborhood is the best! But we don’t want anyone to know it is the best! Or, alternately: Those list makers don’t know what they’re doing. How could they slight our neighborhood’s subtle charms? Charms so subtle that they reflect our exquisite taste? We don’t even want to be on their idiotic list. Let those other neighborhoods have all the tourists and the poseurs and the recent graduates of the nation’s best liberal arts colleges. And so on.