The One Question Not Answered at the DNC or RNC: How Real Is the Zombie Apocalypse Threat?

Last year’s Occupy Wall Street zombie protests

Forget about not looking back, Mr. President. We want to know if we should start taking notes while watching  AMC’s The Walking Dead.

While it’s not news that the Center for Disease Control has been warning us on proper zombie protocol for almost a year now–while simultaneously claiming there is no such thing as a zombie attack … not even when you’re high on bath salts–yesterday a new government office took up a “tongue-in-cheek” zombie cause. It’s those pranksters Homeland Security,  known for issuing fake threats just to rile up people near the holidays.

Wait …

From The Huffington Post:

Tongue firmly in cheek, the government urged citizens Thursday to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies. The theory: If you’re prepared for a zombie attack, the same preparations will help during a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack.

Emergency planners were encouraged to use the threat of zombies – the flesh-hungry, walking dead – to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters. Organizers also noted the relative proximity to Halloween.

Thanks for noting this, organizers! Now we’re not terrified at all of Resident Evil/al Qaeda hybrids coming for our children when we sleep, because apparently that’s less scary than the actual threats that you don’t want to goof about.

We just wish Clint Eastwood would have asked Invisible Obama what he planned to do about the zombie threat. Then we would have taken him seriously.