Time Warner Cable Welcomes Sir Patrick Stewart to Park Slope With Shitty Cable Service

Even Starfleet Captains hate Time Warner.

Stars, they’re just like us! When confronted with the monumental annoyance of having to install Time Warner cable in their apartment, they, too, resort to nihilistic thinking. Thus is the case with Sir Patrick Stewart, famed Shakespearean actor and Star Trek star, who recently moved to Park Slope.

We assume he doesn’t live in a building equipped with Verizon Fios, because the actor has signed up for that dreaded, monstrous monopoly Time Warner Cable, notorious for having fewer stars on Yelp than cannibal murderer Jeffrey Dahmer.
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