Big Apple Idolatry: Tom Cruise, Lindsay Lohan and Scarlett Johansson Look to Leave Scientology, Father and Boyfriend (Respectively)

Their love is stronger than all the thetans!

– Tom Cruise is ready to throw his religion overboard in the name of love! Well, either that, or he finally got around to reading that Vanity Fair cover story from August.

– And in continuing, fascinating Lindsay Lohan news, her mother thinks LiLo needs to get a restraining order against her father, Michael Lohan. Despite the fact that just last week, the mother and daughter pair needed the cops to intervene when they started fighting in front of Mama Lohan’s Long Island home. Could it be because her slightly-less-than-Golden Goose turned to her ex-con daddy after their blowout and called her a coke addict?

– Fun fact: Scarlett Johansson has left her boob-Tumblring ad exec boyfriend Nate Naylor and is now currently on the market!

– As one would expect, Gizmodo and CNET both issued responses to the portrayal of their Apple-hating writers on Saturday Night Live this weekend. We’re waiting on you,!