Forget Missed Connections: Man Posts Sign For ‘One Nite Stands Only’ on West 4th

When you spend all day running from subway to subway with your head down, typing on your smartphone or listening to Maroon 5 or whatever you kids do these days, sometimes you miss the small wonders of life in the city. Like this message, posted near the entrance to the West Fourth Street station, offering a chance for “DATING” and  “ONE NITE STANDS ONLY,” presumably  with a dapper gentleman named either John or Zahn or Sean. (We couldn’t tell from his outgoing voicemail.) I mean, what kind of lady could turn down an offer like this?
(Full image below)

I mean, come on, this notice has everything:

– A promise of a going-dutch date …

  • “Meaning: a cheeseburger deluxe date”
  • “Meaning: McDonald’s date, Wendy’s, Popeye’s, Subway date.”
  • “Meaning, a soda date”
  • “Meaning maybe romance”
  • “Meaning a walk date”
  • A “cigarette meet date”
  • Coffee date
  • The aquarium
  • The zoo
  • Window shopping
  • The Library
  • “Bookstore”

Also don’t forget: FEMALES ONLY!

We’ve emailed and called the contact provided, and the outgoing message is amazing in and of itself: “The number 718-xxx-xxxx is a real number. You have dialed a real number, and we’ll be here. If you are serious, leave your name and number. If not, just hang up.”

You’ve got to admire a fiscally responsible man who knows what he wants. And what he wants is a cigarette, a cheeseburger, sex and “maybe romance.” Count us in!