Time to Give Up the Ghost, Romney: Honey Boo Boo Endorses Barack Obama

The future of America (ABC)

Last night, America’s favorite bundle of scary childhood statistics, Honey Boo Boo, came on Jimmy Kimmel Live with her mom, June. While the TLC starlet with a penchant for GoGo juice was surprisingly lackluster during her mother’s pitch for how their show is positively impacting her community, she perked up once Jimmy started asking her the tough questions. Like, who would she want to be president, because Mr. Kimmel is very savvy and knows that the undecided voters in this country will eventually just arbitrary pick whichever candidate their favorite celebrity endorsed.

Considering that Honey Boo Boo definitely has more cultural cache than Lindsay Lohan, this should definitely lock up the election for Obama in the red states. Why even bother holding it now?

On a different note, has June Boo Boo (or whatever her last name is) been getting media training? She was surprisingly well-spoken and completely intelligible in this segment. They didn’t need to have subtitles or anything!