Memo to Prestigious New York Publications: Stop Eating at Guy Fieri’s Restaurant

To: All staffers populating the offices of The New Yorker, Wall Street Journal, NBC’s News Channel 5, and The New York Times

Re: Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen & Bar

Last week was so much fun, you guys! We all had a good laugh over Pete Wells’ super-harsh all-Qs-no-As review of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant in The New York Times.

But here’s the thing: We all know the food sucks. You don’t need to go sacrifice your lunch hour in order to give us another review of how terrible the food is! Unless you are coming from an original position (is the food better than expected?), then we don’t need another rehashing of the deep fried crap that almost-passes for edible.

For aren’t there far worse places to eat, when you think about it? Applebee’s? That T.G.I.F. near Madison Square Garden? The Chinese take-out spot that gave you food poisoning? Let us move on to other atrocities instead of kicking a Fieri when its down.

That being said, enjoy this un-aired clip from Saturday Night Live this week, featuring the infamous chef. And then, you know, move out of Flavor Country if you can’t stand the chicken fingers.