Holiday Regifting Guide: What We’re Bringing to the White Elephant Party This Year

Look, you can have it. Just don't take away our advance...we already spent it.
Thanks, but if we wanted someone to just ramble on about us using obtuse metaphors involving trees or whatever, we would ask Santa for a write-up in n+1.
The best part is not suffering through an episode about fecal matter on the host's cellphone.
Sure, they might be technically legal, but God forbid Bloomberg's fat police mistake it for contraband.
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SOMEONE must want to hear the director's commentary on this...right?
What awesome "gifts!"
Yeah...it just doesn't seem that funny anymore.
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Valid for six more months, tops.
You're welcome!

Instead of passing around the same gross fruitcake for the next five years, why don’t you use the holidays to get rid of stuff you really don’t want. (Fruitcake is actually delicious and we’ll be keeping it this year.) From book deals to creepy toys, here’s what we’ll be regifting this year.