Forget about the stockings and the giant tree in your living room. Forget about the ham or, if you’re Jewish, the traditional Chinese take-out to be followed by a matinee. (Which at this point has turned into ordering Thai from SeamlessWeb and trying to find something funny on Roku). Forget about how WTF it was that you didn’t get an iPhone or car this year. (That was SO 2011).
Christmas is about taking stock of your life and realizing how blessed you truly are. It’s also about catching up on blogs and celebrity Twitter accounts, coveting (not that you’d ever admit to this) the happy smiles on those celebrities who don’t even seem to have families.
You could never tweet a picture of yourself dressed as a slutty Christmas Barbie who appears to have been left on top of the radiator for too long, but Courtney Stodden can. Maybe that’s why she has so many followers than you.
So go on, indulge in the gluttonous feast of celebrity schadenfreude/jealousy. It’s a better outlet for your self-loathing and frustration than that annual passive-aggressive fight with your father, at the very least.