Ryan Gosling Desperately Searching For His Own Quasimodo

Ryan Gosling. (Getty Images)

Ryan Gosling. (Getty Images)

Hey guy, having trouble kick-starting your acting career due to that pesky facial deformity? Keep getting turned down for leading man roles due to egregious scar/birthmark/radioactive third ear growing out of forehead?

Don’t worry. Ryan Gosling has got your back.

This weekend, a casting website popped up for a feature called “How to Catch A Monster,” a “fantasy noir” and “modern day fairytale” written and directed by flawless hunk of man-meat Ryan Gosling and starring his “Drive” co-star, fellow perfect person and large-breasted goddess Christina Hendricks.

But don’t worry, non-perfect people out there; Ryan Gosling understands your plight. And per the website, three lucky gentlemen (well, two lucky gentlemen and one lucky 3 to 6 year-old) are being given the opportunity to make their mark on the silver screen, guided by Gosling’s firm directorial hand. That strong, beautiful, chiseled hand. Oh Ryan.

The website features a casting call for three male roles: the male lead, Bones, a child, Frankie, and the most curious, “Face.” According to the description, Face’s “trademark is the unusual and distinctive appearance of his face” and they are seeking actors “with any type of unique and unconventional facial characteristics for this role. The more uncommon and different-looking the better. Actors with scars, birth marks are encouraged to submit.”Screen shot 2013-01-22 at 12.45.06 PM

That’s right, you too could achieve that celebrity you’ve always wanted and attain eternal renown as “that guy in the Ryan Gosling movie with the weird face.” It’s like they say, every very traumatic childhood deformity has a silver lining!

While they are currently only advertising for male roles, don’t worry, ladies, new roles will become available for submission, so keep checking back. No word yet on whether facial abnormalities will be a prerequisite, but now might just be the perfect time to go out and get that hideous face-tattoo you always wanted. Do it for Ryan, girl.

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