The Dolphin That Braved the Gowanus [Video]

Oh no!

Oh no!

Dolphins are the best animals in the world. (Fact.) They are also the smartest (fact), eat mackerel (fact) and gravitate toward people who are giving off signals of distress in the water, so they can help them (fact … most of the time). So what can we conclude about the poor wounded dolphin who is currently stuck in the Gowanus Canal, the most unlikely and ickiest body of raw sewage water in which a sea mammal could take up residence?

The live feed of the mission to save the dolphin, below.

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Obviously, this poor little dude (or lady) is trying to become a full-time Brooklyn resident, but it’s doing so in the worst way possible. Reports have already come in claiming that the dolphin is bleeding from its dorsal fin, and its discovery in such an unhealthy habitat could be a sign of a deeper illness that has led the beautiful creature so far from its home. Unfortunately, the last time a dolphin was seen in New York, it was in the Hudson River, and it was found deceased three days after it was first spotted.

Rescue crews are currently trying to save the dolphin, which we are lovingly referring to as Dorito until we hear differently. If the mission is successful, we offer up our apartment in Carroll Gardens as a place for Dorito to crash until he feels well enough to get back on his fins.