The New York Observer

The Observer’s Grand Jury Prizes for Sundance

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By Drew Grant 1/22 1:25pm

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Sundance! (Sundance.com)

Sundance Film Festival, perhaps the most sporty/mainstream of all the cinema fests (Cannes more about getting drunk in the sun and being weird, SXSW is more about being the next Lena Dunham), is currently full swing. Which means that all the celebrities have mercifully vacated the premises for a week and are up in Utah, pretending to know what those white, flaky stuff on the ground happens to be. Though we haven’t seen the film selection this year because we’re still not allowed in NC-17-rated films, we do have our own Grand Jury selection awards to hand out for Excellence in Sundancing. Take a look.
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Jury Selection: Most Awkward Documentation of Aging Out of Tweenhood: Daniel Radcliffe

Really, we're going to jump from Harry Potter to Broadway musicals to the hardcore gay sex scenes as Allen Ginsberg in Kill Your Darlings? This is like some 40-year-old mom's best attempt at fan fiction, isn't it?
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World Cinema Directing Award: Pornography: Kink

It was a close raise between all of the popular films this year, but we in the end it came down to James Franco's "documentary" about a BDSM website, Kink.com. Hey, if you love something, make an artsy-fartsy movie about it, right?
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Mitt Romney Lifetime Achievement Award: Robert Redford

Sundance is "for the 99%," but festival badges are going for $3,000? At this rate, it'd be cheaper to just make a movie and enter it into the contest. Ironically, this is the exact amount that the festival will give out in grants.
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Best Snub: Lindsay Lohan and The Canyons

Very clever, Sundance. You found a way for Lindsay Lohan to stay away from your biggest parties, and convinced her that this was her idea of boycotting.
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Grand Jury Prize: PR Blitz Campaign: Dove Color Care Salon/Chelsey Waldron

Ms. Waldron, we don't know you, but we feel like we do. We've been through so much together. Remember when you had already done your mass email for who had stopped by Dove Color Care Salon that day, but THEN two more "celebrities" (as you called them), Troian Bellisamo and Arden Myrin showed up and you did that great little follow up email that contained three attachments? You deserve a raise.
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World Cinema Award: Best SWAG: Talent Resources Luxury Suite

Gifts included: Monster DNA Headphones, Geno 2.0., Sabra, The Teaologist, Duracell Power Mat, and Hint Water, Gillette, Lenovo Laptop/Tablets, Sean Jean jackets, COVERGIRL, Macaron Magnifique, LYFE Kitchen, and Sensa Weight-Loss System. Damn, those stars are lucky. Look at all that Sabra hummus!
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Jury Selection: Best SWAG: Samsung Galaxy

Just for this photo.