You know what? Screw what mom says, this guy is gold. What’s his name, Effi? Yeah, he’s great. Big improvement on that stuffy investment banker that you were dating last year. This guy is just such a free spirit, you know? You can just tell that he wakes up every morning and does that Roy Scheider thing from All That Jazz. Except instead of Dexedrine its his anti-psychotic medicine, and instead of talking to a mirror, he’s talking to his box of merkins.
Best part is, he’s huge on Reddit. That’s worth more than a job with health insurance any day!