The New York Observer

Rumors of Andrew Mason’s imminent demise as Groupon CEO started swirling back in November, but the bubble officially burst today following Groupon’s “disastrous” financial report.

Yesterday, in response to question about how the numbers would affect Mr. Mason, Groupon spokesperson Paul Taaffee told Bloomberg, “He’s here today.” He was speaking literally.

Groupon just announced that Mr. Mason is being replaced. The company has named a “newly created Office of the Chief Executive,” led by executive chairman Eric Lefkofsky and vice chairman Ted Leonsis, who will “serve in this role on an interim basis.” Read More

With the $85 billion in automatic so-called “sequester” budget cuts set to take affect tomorrow, the National Republican Congressional Committee has released a series of press releases blaming the situation on President Barack Obama’s fondness for “martian menus” and “robotic squirrels.” According to the NRCC, President Obama and House Democrats are more interested in funding wasteful programs and “scaring American families” than protecting the country from the impending, drastic cuts, so they highlighted a series of initiatives, including plans to develop food for astronauts and funding for a “Robosquirrel” used to research rattlesnake behavior. Several versions of the NRCC statement were released pairing President Barack Obama with different Democratic members of Congress.

“Most Americans will never get to order off the ‘Mars Menu’ that their taxpayer dollars are funding, but instead of cutting wasteful programs like that one, President Obama and Jim Himes are allowing cuts to important programs and services,” NRCC Communications Director Andrea Bozek said in the statement targeting Connecticut Congressman Jim Himes. “Rather than trying to scare Americans, Obama and Himes should agree to responsible cuts to wasteful Washington spending.” Read More

Obviously every marketer in America fantasizes about their every video advertisement going wildly viral. But hey, why not skip a step and just cast someone who’s already Internet famous? That seems to be the thinking behind the appearance of Sweet “Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That” Brown in a new ad for the startup WePay, as Business Insider reports. Read More

When you hear of someone who has an AOL email address, what’s the first thought that comes to mind? A dad? Someone who still uses dialup? A TechCrunch employee? Now you can add “strip club aficionado” to your stereotypes of AOL email users, at least according to a new study by the British event planning group Chillisauce. Read More

Angelina “Trash Bags” Pivarnick, the Jersey Shore cast member who left the show in the first season after only three episodes, wants a second chance at the spotlight. On Monday, Ms. Pivarnick launched a Kickstarter page called “The Comeback,” which aims to raise $8,000 to help her get her own reality show called–yes–The Comeback. Read More

Congressman Pete King was not pleased with his fellow Republicans who opposed the federal Hurricane Sandy relief package. Accordingly, Mr. King told us he was shocked to learn that Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who’s widely seen as a potential 2016 presidential contender, has been raising cash on Wall Street after voting against the Sandy bill.

“Being from New York we’re not supposed to be suckers,” Mr. King told Politicker this morning. “It’s bad enough that these guys voted against it, that’s inexcusable enough. But to have the balls to come in and say, ‘We screwed you now make us president?’” Read More

Take a minute to process the illustration below, which is the cover of this week’s edition of Bloomberg Businessweek.

Got it? Four African Americans, it appears, in various absurd stereotypical poses. The son is zoned out, wearing headphones, feeding a dog a bowl full of money; the daughter has an angry look, a weird Read More