Man Sues Parents for Not Loving Him Enough in Saddest Lawsuit Involving Pizza, Ever

Please sir, can I have some more?

Please sir, can I have some more?

Bernard Bey is not a happy camper. The formerly incarcerated 36-year-old is homeless and unemployed, and he knows exactly whose fault it is.

In a self-written lawsuit, Mr. Bey is asking $200,000 in damages from his parents, who he claims abused him emotionally and physically, causing him to enter the shelter system at age 16.

“I feel like my parents should want the best for their children and grandchildren so we have something to pass down for generations so we don’t have to live like this,” he told NBC.

And right when we were feeling sorry for him …

Bey is asking the court for more than $200,000 in damages. He wants his parents to mortgage their family home and purchase two franchises like Domino’s Pizza.

Okay, like Domino’s Pizza, or actually Domino’s Pizza? And does he mean he wants his parents to purchase the franchises and run them, or does he want them to leverage their house and then he gets to run the franchises? Are they two separate franchises (like one would be Domino’s and one would be an IKEA), or just two of the same franchise?

Mr. Bey didn’t explain, but did mention that he’d drop the entire lawsuit if his family would just sit down to dinner with him.

“Let’s work together, and definitely, I’ll drop the suit,” he said.

Reconciliation does not seem to be in the cards, however.

Bey’s parents, who live in public housing, said they’re not in a position to give up any money. His stepfather named in the suit, Bernard Manley, had some choice unprintable words and maintained Bey is not his biological son.