National Institute of Drug Abuse Breaks Silence on Controversial Question: ‘What is Saliva?’

And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go eat someone’s face.

My favorite part about the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) is the one day a year when it holds a “Drug Facts Chat Day,” when every high schooler who has access to a computer lab can write into the government and get the answers to questions like “Do glue get you high?” and “Where do teenagers get drugs?” and “What happens if you are drunk and high at the same time like 2 chainz?”

Every year, I wait for Drug Facts Day like it’s Christmas. It’s not just because it’s super-funny that our next generation does not know how to spell, like, at all, but because I sometimes learn stuff myself! Like the part about black hairs on your tongue from doing too many drugs? Who knew that was a thing?

Enjoy our cherry-picked Qs and As from the 319 pages of questions from this year’s batch.