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National Institute of Drug Abuse Breaks Silence on Controversial Question: ‘What is Saliva?’

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By Drew Grant 2/22 3:54pm
Next in Observer

New York Artists Now: A Special Issue of The New York Observer

  • DAZED--CONFUSED--006
    Start The Slideshow

    My favorite part about the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) is the one day a year when it holds a “Drug Facts Chat Day,” when every high schooler who has access to a computer lab can write into the government and get the answers to questions like “Do glue get you high?” and “Where do teenagers get drugs?” and “What happens if you are drunk and high at the same time like 2 chainz?”

    Every year, I wait for Drug Facts Day like it’s Christmas. It’s not just because it’s super-funny that our next generation does not know how to spell, like, at all, but because I sometimes learn stuff myself! Like the part about black hairs on your tongue from doing too many drugs? Who knew that was a thing?

    Enjoy our cherry-picked Qs and As from the 319 pages of questions from this year’s batch.

  • Back Forward “So be very careful and stay sad for the rest of your time on Earth.”

    “So be very careful and stay sad for the rest of your time on Earth.”

  • Back Forward Maybe you should not have baby.

    Maybe you should not have baby.

  • Back Forward I am throwing out all my bread when I get home.

    I am throwing out all my bread when I get home.

  • Back Forward The terrifying part is that this was a GOOD QUESTION.

    The terrifying part is that this was a GOOD QUESTION.

  • Back Forward I think “Smokey” here wagers he can prove you wrong on that one, pardner.

    I think “Smokey” here wagers he can prove you wrong on that one, pardner.

  • Back Forward No, he means like ... do you know a guy?

    No, he means like ... do you know a guy?

  • Back Forward You’re better off without him, though. Re: All the meth.

    You’re better off without him, though. Re: All the meth.

  • Back Forward I don’t think the NIDA expert realizes the time-sensitive nature of this question.

    I don’t think the NIDA expert realizes the time-sensitive nature of this question.

  • Back Forward Someone loves Breaking Bad but hates spelling!

    Someone loves Breaking Bad but hates spelling!

  • Back Forward Rape.

    Rape.

  • Back Forward Just when you thought you only had to worry about your son being on drugs ...

    Just when you thought you only had to worry about your son being on drugs ...

  • Back Forward This is relevant to our interests ...

    This is relevant to our interests ...

  • Back Forward How does NIDA know about bath salts, but not purple drank?

    How does NIDA know about bath salts, but not purple drank?

  • Back Forward It’s called “Getting Crunk.”

    It’s called “Getting Crunk.”

  • Back Forward That sucks. Let government employees who study drugs for a living on the fun drug sites. Come on, Obama!

    That sucks. Let government employees who study drugs for a living on the fun drug sites. Come on, Obama!

  • Back Forward Or maybe he’s just really high and has cotton mouth?

    Or maybe he’s just really high and has cotton mouth?

  • Back Forward Have you talked to your doctor about SNORLAX?

    Have you talked to your doctor about SNORLAX?

  • Back Forward Another great one from Heisenburg(er). This guy is regular Walter Wheat.

    Another great one from Heisenburg(er). This guy is regular Walter Wheat.

  • Back Forward The answer to this is always “Yes.”

    The answer to this is always “Yes.”

  • Back Forward Well, this cleared up a lot of my questions.

    Well, this cleared up a lot of my questions.

    And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go eat someone’s face.

  • Back Forward Aw!

    Aw!

  • Back Forward Come on, scientists! Where are you even getting those JPEGs if you're not allowed on fun websites?

    Come on, scientists! Where are you even getting those JPEGs if you're not allowed on fun websites?

  • Back Forward Seriously, stop it!

    Seriously, stop it!

  • Back Forward Man, talk about a cheap high.

    Man, talk about a cheap high.

  • Back DAZED--CONFUSED--006

    DAZED--CONFUSED--006

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