Too Bad the ‘Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Vs. Racist Jesus Murder Driver’ Story Has Already Been Optioned (Video)

"Kai" (Fox)

“Kai” (Fox)

By now, you may have seen the local human interest/crime story from a Fox affiliate in Fresno, starring a hippie hitchhiker named Kai who saved the day when the man who picked him up decided he was Jesus and started attacking people at what appeared to be an outdoor thrift store convention a work site next to the highway. Luckily, Kai had an axe, and after Jesus (who used the N-word), crashed into a man working for Pacific Gas & Electric, the jam-bander took action, saving a woman from being bear-hugged to death by his former driver.

Jesus has been identified as Jett Simmons McBride, 54, and the fact that he is extremely mentally ill, and broke a man’s leg with his car should not stop us from just having a big ole’ laugh at that zany Kai, the hitchhiker who was carrying an axe in his backpack. What are the odds of getting two crazies in one hitchhiking arrangement, you know??

The movie rights for this story have, unfortunately, already been optioned.