Staffer 1: Did you see this thing about Andrew W.K.?
Staffer 2: You mean the Brony thing?
Staffer 1: The Brony thing?
Staffer 2: The time he went and talked to adults who love My Little Pony.
Staffer 1: Oh, no. He’s now a spokesperson Playtex.
Staffer 2: Tampons?
Staffer 1: Not tampons. Playtex’s Fresh + Sexy Wipes.
Staffer 2: Oh! (Staffer 3), weren’t we just talking about how great those wipes were?
Staffer 3: Maybe?
Staffer 2: I think it’s really great that he’s destroying the stigma that only women with bacterial infections need to use wipes. Sometimes they are just nice to have. Like at the gym.
Staffer 1: Are we sure he’s actually working with Playtex, or is this like the time he said he was going as a cultural ambassador to Bahrain without actually getting permission? And then he wasn’t allowed to go, remember?
Staffer 2: It would be weird to send out a press release for a product that’s not paying you, though.
Staffer 1: Just check to see if there are any official quotes.
Staffer 2: Yeah, here it is. “This exciting new product required the help of someone who could embody the brand’s playful yet bold campaign; someone who could party hard, but still be clean when it counted. Andrew W.K. is that someone and we are thrilled to have him on board with us for Fresh + Sexy Wipes.” Oh! And he’s holding a party at SXSW to celebrate it.
Staffer 1: He’s just so weird.
Staffer 2: I love his quote. “Whether you just finished rocking a packed club or have an intimate encounter after a busy day, this product will make couples feel brand new. Fresh + Sexy Wipes were specially designed to help couples feel confidently clean, before and after they engage in sexual activity!” Haha, I bet your junk would get pretty gross if you spent all day sweating like Andrew W.K.
Staffer 1: What is he doing these days? Anything interesting?
Staffer 2: I think he’s kind of like the brand ambassador version of James Franco. They should collaborate on something. Like jumping into a volcano.
Staffer 1: I wonder what the people at My Little Pony think about Bronies…