Shocking Study Finds Hackers Are ‘Antisocial Man-Children Who Live In Their Parents’ Basements’

New evidence on the hacker persona is sure to challenge stereotypes.

A typical hacker. (Photo: Tumblr)

A typical hacker. (Photo: Tumblr)

A new study published by a professor at the University of Montreal has yielded earth-shattering conclusions that are sure to rock the public’s fundamental understanding of “hackers.” Largely considered to be clean-shaven, upstanding adults residing in beautifully-kept apartments and boasting impressively high emotional IQs, the study has revealed a seedier side of the hacker persona: that of a Cheeto-dusted manchild whose skin will melt at the first sign of sunlight.

According to the study, “the typical hacker is male, in his 20s, and is usually socially immature.” How did researchers arrive as this generalization of the subspecies? By interviewing the statistically insignificant group of 10 hackers ages 17 to 27 years old.

Furthermore, about one third of hackers (so, like, three dudes?) reside with their parents, shattering the longstanding belief that computer hackers live in spacious, light-filled houses purchased with their own legitimately obtained money.

Can’t wait to hear about how mean high school girls are after talking to Lindsay Lohan.