‘Boring’ Bushwick Residents Fight for Their Right Not to Party

'The hipsters are out of control.'

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Pearl’s Social & Billy Club in Bushwick. (Facebook)

Those pesky hipsters are at it again, with their subversive non-weekday work schedules and socially destructive late night PBR-drinking, according to an article in the Daily News.

Bushwick’s Community Board 4 has taken a stand against Sunday sipping, according to the paper, by requesting that bar and restaurant owners stop selling alcohol by midnight on Sunday night.

“Sunday, that’s the day when people rest,” district manager Nadine Whitted told the News. “We have to be fair to everybody. It’s not a hard thing to do.”

The State Liquor Authority can still approve a liquor license even if a bar refuses to comply with the suggested Sunday curfew. However, the agency plans to investigate each individual bar or restaurant applying for a license, according to SLA spokesman William Crowley.

“The hipsters are out of control,” said 38-year old perfect caricature of a Brooklyn resident, Monica Hall, to the Post.

“You go into a new land and think you own it,” continued Ms. Hall. “Sleeping on a Sunday night, for people with children and who have nine-to-five jobs, is the difference between getting a good night’s sleep and starting your week off right, versus trying to sleep with noise coming from over grown children.”

In response, a number of Bushwick bar owners are doing their best to appease the local residents. Betsy Maher, owner of Pearl’s Social and Billy Club on St. Nicholas Ave, has installed a bouncer outsider her bar at night to try and keep noise levels now.

“There’s a lot of resistance between old and new,” Ms. Maher told the News. “It’s making the two sides butt heads even more.”

This issue is emblematic of an ever-growing divide between long-time Bushwick residents and the colonizing hipster crowd, who are more likely to shun traditional work patterns in favor of, you know, not having any work patterns (if you believe Girls is an accurate representation of real life, which, duh, it is).

Clearly those old fogeys with their 9-5 jobs and their mindless subjugation to the corporate hegemony don’t appreciate that when you’ve been slaving away all weekend perfecting your newest round of splatter paintings and hawking reclaimed furniture at the Brooklyn Flea, Sunday night is actually the perfect time to kick back with a few brewskis. Can’t we all just get along, bro?