Yahoo Will Now Give You $500 for Gestating, Plus Branded Baby Swag

They got perks! (They just don't include working from home.)

Where's that kid's company t-shirt? (Photo: Twitter/MarissaMayer)

Where’s that kid’s company t-shirt? (Photo: Twitter/MarissaMayer)

Guess Marissa Mayer was sick of hearing about whether her truncated maternity leave was good for women. The Wall Street Journal reports that, if you can manage to work at Yahoo and remain upbeat about life enough to reproduce, you’ll now benefit from new-and-improved perks for new parents (though Google’s is still better).

The company has just increased time off for new mothers to 16 weeks and introduced paid paternity leave, and women who adopt, foster or employ a surrogate can also take eight weeks. For every five years you’ve been with the company, you can take an eight-week unpaid “sabbatical” (though is that really the right word for dealing with a howling newborn?).

Plus, all new parents are now getting their very own branded baby shower, plus cash:

“Among some of the other new benefits: New parents will receive $500 to spend on household expenses, such as laundry, house-cleaning, food or childcare, as well as Yahoo-branded baby gear, a spokeswoman says.”

Don’t bring that baby into the office unless he’s wearing a purple onesie. In fact, don’t even bring your new puppy unless he’s swagged out: “Employees with new pets also get freebies, such as dog collars emblazoned with the Yahoo logo,” according to the WSJ.

No word on what percentage of Yahoos receive diaper cakes personally crafted by the overachieving Ms. Mayer.