Meet Philip: Derek Jeter’s Incredibly Boring Alter Ego

Toronto Blue Jays v New York Yankees

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Turns out Derek Jeter lacks imagination when it comes to things that are not sports or women.

The Uber-Yankee has been caught trying to hoodwink employees in a Greenwich Village Starbucks into believing he’s a man called Philip, according to The New York Post. The plan may have failed when they released he’s one of the most easily recognizable men in the country.

While most people go for a fun alias, for instance Kate Beckinsale’s infamous pseudonym “Sigourney Beaver,” the shortstop decided to go for an extraordinarily dull secret identity when on a coffee run this Wednesday.

He has been known to run short on ideas when choosing names before, such as picking “Johnny Drama,” a pre-invented character from the TV show Entourage, when checking into hotels according to a 2007 SmokingGun article.

We like to think that the coffee shop’s attendants humored the player, maybe asking “Philip Jeter” what it’s like to date “Mandy Carey” or “Janet Alba.”

Or perhaps he’s already spent the reported $24.5M he earned last year and was trying to sneak off with some other guy’s latte while the paps waited outside.

The Starbucks we contacted in the area said they “weren’t sure if they were allowed to talk about it,” but added that Hugh Jackman had just been in and that “he was hot.”