The Saga of Paula Deen Continues! Five Fun New Spoilers for This Week’s Drama!

Former Food Network star may lose QVC contract while White Knights come to rescue

Paula Deen and her black friend.

Paula Deen and her black friend.

Paula Deen may have been roasted to a crisp by the media last week, after a civil lawsuit had her on the stand admitting to using some un-P.C.-language and raising allegations that Ms. Deen is a not-so-secret bigot.

But the Butter Bouffante is not out for the count! Here’s five ways Ms. Deen will continue to be churned in our news cycle this week.

  • Paula Deen will be making her Today show appearance after her no-show on Friday, the day she was fired from The Food Network. It’s actually a smart move, politically: Today has always been good to her, but that doesn’t mean they’ll go easy once Deen turns from fourth hour filler into prime Matt Lauer subject material. Disppearing from the show completely would have been career suicide, but coming on to defend/explain herself after the dust has settled is just good PR strat.
  • People on the Internet will continue to defend Ms. Deen, and some of them will have a point–so far, she’s just been accused of workplace discrimination, and the only thing that’s on official record is that “at some point” in her life she used the N-word, and has been nostalgic for a time when black men were waiters. (Also, for being Others will claim this is a vast conspiracy by Al Sharpton and The New Yorker, and is the equivalent of a modern-day McCarthyism.
  • The video of Paula Deen pretending to go down on a chocolate-covered eclair will surface, despite Deen being found in contempt of court for not revealing it. And it will be instantly Meme-able.
  • The price of pots and pans under the Paula Deen label are going to shoot up once QVC jumps on board and fires her as well, causing her items to become collectors’ editions.
  • The Food Network site will go down for good once all the angry Deen-ites have their way with it, though one lone voice will point out what we’ve been saying all along: That this latest Deen-asode is just the latest in a long string of questionable behavior…like selling a butter line months after hawking Diabetes medication.