This Invading Army of Crazy Ants Will Eat Your Phones and DVRs, So We’re All Screwed

Deploy the nukes, let's get these bastards.

Die, die, die. (Photo: Russia Today)

Die, die, die. (Photo: Russia Today)

Now that we’ve all exhaled a collective sigh of relief after dodging the Great Cicada Scare of 2013: so-called “crazy ants.” The invasive bugs, which are alarmingly immune to insecticides, are causing several hundred million dollars in damage from their habit of chewing through the wiring in iPhones, laptops, and DVR cables. So you can blame those bastards for deleting Princesses of Long Island.

They migrated from Brazil and Argentina and are now commonly found in Southern states and Texas, thus rendering those places further unlivable. The “crazy ants” crave electrical wiring but often find that their temptation gets the best of them since their electrocuted carcasses are found scattered near transformers, air conditioners and power outlets. And no, you can’t eat them.

If you weren’t busy wrapping the wiring in your DVR with a lead apron, the problem becomes even more harrowing:

Researchers found that when the ants are electrocuted, they wave their abdomens in the air, omitting a particular scent that attracts other ants. As each of the ants dies off, the bodies build up in electric switches or devices, causing switches to get stuck or the system to short-circuit.

Haha, awesome. At least the cicadas didn’t screw with your high score on Dots.

This Invading Army of Crazy Ants Will Eat Your Phones and DVRs, So We’re All Screwed