Royal Baby Live Stream Finally Delivers After 36 Hours of Binge Viewing

Prince Romulus Mungo Hydrangea Blu. Maybe. (Getty)

Prince Romulus Mungo Hydrangea Blu. Maybe. (Getty)

Things got considerably more interesting on the Royal Baby Live Stream today, for those of us eating New York deli salads and drinking office coffee and waiting for the first glimpse of little Prince Tarquin Murgatroyd  (or whatever he’s called) on the corner of our computer screens.

At 2.13pm EST, the new Prince of Cambridge was carried by his father through the frosted doors of the Lindo Wing, that drab bit of architecture that royal watchers have been binge-viewing for the last 36 hours as if it were the latest series on Netflix.

His mother, the Duchess, had the benefit of a visit from her hairdresser before the appearance and looked splendid in a lavender dress with white polka dots. She was beaming like one of those multiple lottery winners who hit Powerball and then win twenty grand a week for life from a scratch ticket.

What there wasn’t a lot of was baby. HRH was pretty tightly secured under his white blanket–in fact he could have been a loaf of bread, if it wasn’t for the scruff of blond fuzz which did look remarkably like his dad’s.

After a few minutes they went in, only to re-emerge, pile the kid into a black Range Rover and drive off, with William at the wheel. After they left, a full complement of nurses and hospital administrators milled around hugging, like the closing credits of “Saturday Night Live.”

The whole thing was a great improvement on yesterday, when the feed was nothing but pigeons and pedestrians and a (self-appointed) town crier showing up at the end.

The action started this morning, with the arrival of Kate’s parents, Carole and Michael Middleton. The UK press have worn themselves out making fun of the Middletons’ middle-class background, and seem finally prepared to accept them as quasi-aristocrats. (Although Michael didn’t do himself any favors wearing a double-breasted blazer with gold buttons–does he think his goldfish pond has a yacht club?)

Carole spoke to the press, briefly and graciously, and I realized that I maybe couldn’t tell her apart from J.K. Rowling? Although Carole has a bit more of an Anjelica Huston thing going on, whereas J.K. skews more Felicity Kendal.

Two hours later, Charles and Camilla showed up. The British public will never forgive the Duchess of Cornwall for not being Princess Diana, but to her credit she doesn’t seem to care. And the updraft of popularity being provided by the former Kate Middleton and now the baby prince will probably make the years that Charles has to spend on the throne immensely more tolerable for her.

And now, those of us who have been glued to Daily Mail’s Royal Baby stream are left with that funny feeling like after “House of Cards” ended, casting around for a new obsession. I wonder if anyone’s pregnant on the National Zoo’s panda cam?