CNBC Says Call of Duty, Not Crippling Insecurity and Sriracha Breath, Is the Reason Some Guys Can’t Get Dates

Maybe CoD just needs a sexting function.

Obviously what all gamers look like. (Photo:

Obviously what all gamers look like. (Photo:

When video games aren’t precipitating violent acts IRL or dangerously cutting into study time, they’re also keeping young men from nailing chicks. The future is terrible, isn’t it?

In a segment for CNBC’s The Kudlow Report, two experts–one an online matchmaker named Lori Zaslow and the other CNBC contributor Carrol Roth–attempted to parse just what first person shooter games like Call of Duty are doing to the young men of America.

Naturally, obsessive gamers who opt for virtual worlds instead of reality are being deprived of important rites of passages like feverishly making out in parked cars then running home to brag about it on Reddit.

“It’s easier to connect to technology than reality,” Ms. Zaslow argues in the clip, unearthed by Techdirt. “It really is. You’re not going to get rejected by technology. And it’s a one on one thing, so you’re avoiding intimacy. You can be Rambo in Call of Duty, but you can’t necessarily be Rambo if you feel scrawny and insecure.”

Wait, so is all technology destroying intimate relationships, or is it just video games that are killing chivalry and leaving a trail of lonely women in their wake?

“Facebook definitely brings people together,” Ms. Zaslow said.

Wait. What?