Friendless Curiosity Rover Celebrates One Year on Mars by Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Itself

Well, this birthday cake just turned to ashes on our tongues.

Artist's rendering.

Artist’s rendering.

The Mars Curiosity Rover just celebrated a year on the red planet. According to the Washington Post, the friendless little machine marked the occasion by singing itself “Happy Birthday,” which is just about the most forlorn thing we can possibly imagine. 

According to this video from NASA, they used the rover’s soil sample analysis unit, which vibrates at various frequencies, to string together the sounds we recognize as the song “Happy Birthday.” Why not just pipe “It Only Takes a Moment” into the Martian air and make the Wall-E comparison complete?

Oh, and thanks for reminding us of that super-sad xkcd comic about how poor Curiosity never gets to come home, no matter how good a job he does:

Let’s Kickstart the poor guy a pal or something, Jesus.