Larry Ellison Has a Problem With Larry Page

Cage match? Cage match!

Mr. Ellison (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Mr. Ellison (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Well, look who’s taken it upon himself to liven up the summer doldrums. Larry Ellison recently sat down in his garden (attired in his chillest power-casual v-neck) to chat with Charlie Rose. The resulting CBS This Morning interview opens with, “The only guys I have trouble with are the Google guys,” before he specifies that he means, “Larry specifically.”

This’ll be fun!

No, Mr. Ellison hasn’t simply had it up to here with Glassholes. He’s convinced Google has infringed on Oracle’s Java patents in Android; the two companies are still battling it out in court. “We just think they took our stuff and that was wrong,” Mr. Ellison explained. And since Mr. Page is in charge–“He makes the decisions over there, he runs that company”–it’s Larry P. that Larry E. has a problem with. (Sergey’s probably too busy noodling with jetpacks or something to care, anyway.)

Mr. Rose went for the pull quote, resulting in an exchange that reads like some sort of weird catechism: “You think they’re evil?” Mr. Ellison: “I think what they did was absolutely evil.” Mr. Rose: “And you blame Larry Page?” Mr. Ellison: “100 percent Larry Page.” Mr. Rose: “So if what they did was evil, that makes Larry Page evil?” But Mr. Rose didn’t bite: “No, it makes what he did evil, which is quite different,” before backtracking just the tiniest bit: “I think he slipped up this one time.”

The pair also discussed Steve Jobs (“He was our Edison, our Picasso”), before Mr. Ellison took the opportunity to give NSA spying concerns the brush-off:

“This whole issue of privacy is utterly fascinating to me. Who’s ever heard of this information being misused by the government? In what way?” he said, adding that law enforcement data collection generally is “great, it’s essential.” It won’t worry him until “we stopped looking for terrorists and started looking for people on the other side of the aisle.”

Maybe those of us without the scratch to buy entire islands are just a little over sensitive about these things.