Signal-Blocking Phone Case Might Keep the Government From Finding You, You Special Snowflake

... While also rendering your phone completely useless.

The perfect holiday gift for your favorite doomsday prepper. (Photo:

You could use this, or you could just get rid of your cell phone. (Photo:

A new phone case promises to protect your mobile device better than a refrigerator does, according to VentureBeat.

The OFF Pocket is “Untrackable. Unhackable. Undistractable,” its website insists. It blocks 3G, 4G, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS, keeping prying eyes away from your data and also pretttttty much turning your phone into a paper weight.

It would be useful solely for the paranoid, and people who are planning to go on the lam. So the government definitely wouldn’t have any interest in obtaining a list of people who’ve bought it online, no way.

A hooded garbage bag a day keeps the drones away! (Photo:

A hooded garbage bag a day keeps the drones away! (Photo:

It was developed by “stealth clothing pioneer Adam Harvey,” according to Venture Beat. Mr. Harvey also has worked on some equally-as-attractive anti-drone garments, which will keep unmanned aircraft from finding you — but make you stick out like a sore thumb to actual humans.

We will probably stick to our cute plastic iPhone case — but thanks, Mr. Harvey, for the great gift idea for everyone’s next crazy relative’s birthday.