Stave Off Crippling Loneliness With Pillow Shaped Like Woman’s Lap

Water-resistant for tears and other, uhh, fluids.

Normal (Screengrab:

Normal (Screengrab:

Sometimes ya just gotta snuggle. Unfortunately, we aren’t aware of any apps that, Tinder-like, provide you with a cuddle buddy at the click of a button.

So until that happens, straight dudes who are fiendin’ for non-sexual female contact may want to pick up this handy pillow that’s shaped like a woman’s lap, complete with circa 2008 mini skirt.

It’s polyurethane, which we can’t imagine feels very lifelike as far as flesh goes, but you can pretty much spill as much Mountain Dew as you want on it. Incredibly, it’s sold out at the moment from It’s just the latest in a long line of girlfriend-simulators coming out of Japan, including the coat that hugs you, the disembodied mannequin head that tells you if your breath is stank, body pillows with naked girls drawn on them, and so many more inanimate objects.

The question is, what are Japanese ladies doing while their would-be boyfriends canoodle with plastic crap? Maybe there’s an underground rubber-muscular-torso-spooning black market we don’t know about.