This Handy ‘Death Test’ Gadget Will Tell You When You’re Going to Die

We're going to use this to get out of so many brunches!

RIP Betabeat staffer. (Photo: Digimegirl)

RIP Betabeat staffer. (Photo: Digimegirl)

There’s finally an accurate way to predict when we’re going to die that isn’t the Death Clock: Lasers. British researchers are developing a wristwatch-like device that uses small–but painless–laser beams to puncture your skin to analyze endothelial cells, an essential indicator for how healthy you are. It then tells you when you’re going to die, hence the “death test.”

Once the researchers fine-tune their testing, the results could indicate exactly how many years people have left to live.

Despite the fact that discovering when you’re going to die could be kind of neat (“I’m not wasting my final few dozen years on earth sitting through Jobs!” you could exclaim), critics charge that employers or insurance  companies could use the info to jack up premiums or payouts. The doctor behind the project ensures that she’s building it for the greater good:

“Not very far from now, a £200 to £300 device will be available to everyone for home use. I hope we are developing something to encourage people to take care of their health,” said Dr. Aneta Stefanovska.

The project has reached its funding goal so it could hit doctors’ offices in the next few years. Happy dying!