1) Studies show most animal species are willing to look the other way when they see deer strapped to car roofs.
2) Burning witches today is frowned upon, but, back in the 1600s, a good witch-burning really rallied the community together.
3) Though humans now think of a harvest as being a bountiful, festive and joyous occasion, that will change when the aliens come for our organs.
4) The fall’s colorful foliage is the perfect place to stash bodies for a serial killer that targets clowns.
5) No scientific entity has ever seriously studied how much feces migrating birds excrete into the soup of outdoor diners.
6) Seventy-two percent of trick-or-treaters don’t have the guts to perform even a single trick.
7) Working out at an Equinox gym on the autumnal equinox while listening to John Coltrane’s “Equinox” has no bearing on anything whatsoever.