Developmental psychologists agree: by age 3, your baby should be way past its “killing the vibe on dance floors” phase.
Fortunately, you can enroll your dweeby infant or toddler in Baby DJ School at Cool Pony Crown Heights. Classes start September 18 under the sick-ass tutelage of Natalie Elizabeth Weiss, whose kiddy music classes at Brooklyn Inventgenuity Fest and Roulette Kids were both featured in The New York Times. In just 8 weeks, your 0 to 3-year-old will be whipping beats so sick they need hospice care.
The Non-Gender-Specific-Parent-and-Me class strives to infuse the typical atmosphere of a cross-generational sing-a-long with a “horrible parent who drags a baby to an after-hours party” vibe. The class is sure to be a great way to
prove to your Facebook friends that giving birth has not made you some lemming, and you may as well be the first Brooklynite to figure out human reproduction, so THAT’S why your latest mixed-media art piece is on hold, ADRIAN introduce your child to the joys of music.
Let’s hope Baby’s First DJ Booth is high enough to keep MDMA users from swiping Junior’s pacifier.