Kids these days do enough extracurricular activities to make even adults with full-time jobs feel like lazy sacks of disappointment. You may wonder how the hell the city’s teens make it from “gymnastics on the pier” to “fencing practice” to Oliver and Sebastian’s joint quinceanera. Well, the New York Times can tell you: their moms are booking cars through Uber for them.
Guy Parkin is a blase 13-year-old with a busy schedule. “It’s a lot more reliable than a taxi,” he tells the Times. “I have to get around. I also have this Princeton Review thing that’s all the way up on Madison Avenue.” Ugh, tell us about it.
Moms and dads–but mostly moms :(–can monitor their kids’ whereabouts at all times by calling Uber cabs for them, the Times asserts. It’s also a handy way to circumvent the rules, which state that minors can’t use the service. If moms are calling and booking the cabs, the kids aren’t technically using it, right? Dubious, but sure.
The Times insists that “young people are getting to feel what it’s like to be Suri Cruise, if only for a few minutes,” because of the moms-meet-Uber trend, but we disagree, as little Suri probably travels via armed and Scientology-blessed motorcade.