Madonna’s Bad Movie Manners Earn Her Lifelong Theater Ban

Madonna still uses a Blackberry. (Getty)

Madonna still uses a Blackberry. (Getty)

The Alamo Drafthouse, the Austin-based movie theater chain has some pretty intense rules against texting. In fact, if you complain to them about their policy against texting during a feature, they will turn your voicemail into a viral video.

The Drafthouse is so intense about this issue, not even celebrities are exempt from the No-Texting rule, even if they weren’t in an Alamo theater at the time! Queen Madge earned herself a lifelong ban when she was caught using her Blackberry during a screening at The New York Film Festival over the weekend, and for invoking some colorful language when asked to stop.
According to the Facebook post of critic Charles Taylor (via IndieWire), Madonna considers “The Man” to be anyone who doesn’t let her do anything she wants, all the time:

Tonight at the New York Film Festival premiere of ’12 Years A Slave’ (a masterpiece, by the way), I sat behind the unholy trifecta of Jason Ritter, J. Alexander from ‘America’s Next Top Model,’ and Michael K. Williams from ‘The Wire.’ Plus, a mysterious blonde in black lace gloves who wouldn’t stop texting on her Blackberry throughout the first half of the movie. Eventually, a woman next to me tapped her on the shoulder and told her to put her phone away, and the blonde hissed back, ‘It’s for business… ENSLAVER!’ I turned to the shoulder tapper and loudly said, ‘THANKS!’ and gave her a thumbs up. The rest of the movie, I kept thinking about how I wanted to tell the blonde what a disgrace she was. During the standing ovation, the blonde ducked out and Jason Ritter turned around to make commiserating eye contact, as J. Alexander asked, ‘Who WAS that?!’ Jason then looked down at the floor. His eyes got wide, and he picked up an envelope and showed it to us and J. And it said: ‘2 screening tix MADONNA.’ And sure enough, we looked to the side of the theater and standing against the wall in black lace gloves was Madonna. The worst person in America.

The funniest part of all this is that Madonna shouted “Enslaver!” during a screening of–what else?– 12 Years A Slave. Perfect one-to-one comparison, Madonna! We bet you can really relate to the plight of the first African-Americans as portrayed in the film. If texting had existed back then, they would have not been allowed to do it in theaters, either. Apples to apples, as they say.

Seeing an opportunity to bring their no-technology credo some press, The Drafthouse announced Madonna was banned for life from any Drafthouse location until she apologizes for her millennial rudeness. She has yet to respond, perhaps because she was too embarrassed for being outed for still using a Blackberry. Or maybe she’s just taking her chances that she’ll never have a reason to step inside an independent movie house ever again…and considering the success of W.E., she may be onto something.