New Gift-Giving App Will Help Remove Stress (and Personality) From Your Holiday Season

It's like QVC for hedge funders.

Just your average gold porcelain duckie for $85 (Photo:

Just your average gold porcelain duckie for $85 (Photo:

Gifts are a great way to show people you care–if you have time to find, buy, wrap and send or give one. Now, a new app is streamlining the gift-giving process so that we can show people we give a shit when in reality, ehhhh we don’t really give a shit.

The app, Bond, enables its users to swipe through a bevy of gifts arranged by price–under $50, under $100, under $250 and “Splurge,” because spending $50+ on a gift for someone when you can’t even be arsed to go to the store for them isn’t enough of a splurge.

Some of the gifts, TechCrunch reports, are desk ornaments, candles, bottles of wine, “incredible chocolates” and even a couple of items that go beyond your typical tchotchke, like vintage leather basketballs or Billiard ball cuff links.

After picking a gift, you can choose a recipient from among your side chicks, we mean contacts, and Bond will send it on over as soon as you provide the recipient’s address and your credit card number, TechCrunch reports. You only have to enter your card info once, for added quickness.

And if the whole process wasn’t impersonal enough, Bond also has a robot that will write out the card for you so that you can trick the recipient into thinking you’ve lain hands on the gift, wrapping paper and card at some point. Bond, create a budget version of this (we’re talking six-packs of PBR and $13.95 wall calendars) and we’ll be the first ones to sign up this holiday season.