Because an entire website dedicated to bedazzling T-shirts wasn’t enough for her legions of fans, America’s next top Girl Scout leader Brit Morin is now officially publishing a book.
Publishers Weekly broke the news, Valleywag reports. The book, HOMEMAKERS, will teach “the new generation of modern ‘homemakers’ how to use technology to enhance creativity,” PW said. But judging by a glance at the book proposal, it looks like “technology” in this case means “fancy colored lightbulbs.”
Betabeat got its hands on the proposal in September. In it, Ms. Morin repeatedly puts a big emphasis on “straddling the analog and digital worlds,” reminding us that we are “interconnected 24/7.” To remedy this, why not melt a bunch of perfectly good crayons into a cup and call it a candle, then spray paint the tips of your shoes gold?
The proposal also answers pressing questions of our time such as, what is a kitchen? “It stores the food we eat to survive,” the book reports helpfully.
It also includes a “manifesto” of the “maker movement,” which is less a movement than the leftover scraps of being a ’60s housewife. Only in the ’60s, housewives worked to make useful things like shirts out of useless things like piles of cloth. Ms. Morin’s projects, on the other hand, are more about taking one household object (headband!) and spending an hour or more to hot-glue other household objects (Christmas ornaments!) onto it, creating something too fugly to be sold in stores.
This book will make a great Christmas gift for the conservative newly married cousin who has a lot of time on her hands. If you decide to buy it, though, keep in mind that your penance is one full rosary said in honor of all of the actual authors out there who are going without book deals this year.