So imagine the egg on this guy’s face when he was informed, during a live taping of Trisha Goddard’s show, that he was 14 percent subsaharan African. Super awkward. (Though not as awkward as they could of been? In fact, he seems kind of goofy-happy about the whole thing, but maybe it’s his hippie hair is confusing us.)
You would kind of expect more of an extreme reaction than just a dap-refusal, but maybe Mr. Cobb was still in shock. As he told the Village Voice, he doesn’t necessarily trust the results, and plans to get retested. But if it turns out he’s a pale version of this Dave Chapelle sketch, he has a contingency plan:
“On the off chance that I am 14 percent non-white, on that off chance, in that case that would make me a kind of ‘border guard.’” Border guards, Cobb explains, are members of any community who put themselves on the very front line to protect the purer among them. Border guards, Cobb explains, “will be the first ones to be slaughtered if the society ever falls.”
Pap-pap, come on, Helter Skelter is so 1969.