Turns out, women are just super bad at objectifying dudes. Even when they try to put into words the perfect male “personal assistant” profile–such as in this Craigslist ad found by ScalleyWag & Vagabond–they only start by listing physical traits (“Yeah send me a pic or five, dick pics are ok but one should be of your face :)))”) before quickly move on to emotional girlie stuff. (“I don’t want to worry about this person’s feelings, our “dynamic” and all that Massengill commercial type bullshit.”)
So, for years I had seen postings by guys, usually corporate types, looking for young hot chicks to personal assist. I thought they were such assholes.
Then I found myself in need of a personal assistant–I am a 33 year old woman–and I realized I was the same exact way. The reason I need a personal assistant is to decrease my stress level. I am a guy’s girl and if I am going to delegate to someone I don’t want to worry about this person’s feelings, our “dynamic” and all that Massengill commercial type bullshit.
The ideal candidate would be like, completely adorable, have some connection to arts/media, be semi-codependent, have an affinity for cool ass bitches in their 30s, common sense, a ready smile, a tender heart, zero sarcasm, and if you secretly believe in God that would be amazing. I basically just need you to hold my hand while I invoice and take care of about 1000000000000000000 horrible to do list items and prevent me from self destructing due to my innermost self hating my own success. That’s why I can’t have a bitch on board. None of y’all hipster transplant chicks in this city ryde or die enough to be a good PA. Would you bitches take a bullet? Nah hell nah. The ideal candidate (23-27, male, loves beanies, smart) knows exactly what type of lil cracker ho bag I’m talking about. Omg my adventure in New York City! Selfie! Artisanal yeast infection trustafarian retard. Ironically this girl would work her ass off for no pay but I can’t deal with her taking selfies “here’s me and my uber cool boss at the DMV!”
In short – 150 for 10 hours a day of the easiest most hilarious job ever – babysitting a 33 year old creative industry professional with a kind heart and a ragged soul.
Yeah send me a pic or five, dick pics are ok but one should be of your face :))) por favor
Please don’t like Kubrick
Cheers lady, A for effort (seriously, she is pretty funny). But Nth-wave feminism is never going to get anywhere unless we start posting ads looking for assistants who are good at massages.