Harry Potter Butterbeer is Two Pumps of Disappointment

Butterbeerlicious. (Universal Studios)

Butterbeerlicious. (Universal Studios)

We were thrilled–thrilled!–to find out that Starbucks would apparently start offering Butterbeer, the savory drink served up in Harry Potter. (Anything to bring us a little closer to the world of J.K. Rowlings, without whom the universe is a cold and unfeeling place.)

But like everything else in Muggle reality, this rumor quickly transmogrified into crushing disappointment.

First mentioned on the site Dalebar.com, this Starbucks Butterbeer legend came with an extra element on intrigue: The coffee shop would only serve you the drink if you said the magic words to your barista! Okay, well the magic words are actually just a recipe:

A Creme Frappuccino base. Don’t skimp on the fat by asking for skim or 2% milk as whole milk is required for the right consistency.
Add 3 pumps of caramel syrup.
Add 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup.
Top with caramel drizzle, wave your wand 3x and say Bibbity Bobbity Boo! (Damnit, wrong book!)

Oh, so…that’s just the ingredients to make a (disgustingly flavored) latte.

It doesn’t even technically count as a marketing tie-in (which, sure, now, that we think about it, would be a little late) because it’s not clear that your Starbucks employee even know what you are asking for. Despite the many Internet articles written about this product, it’s unclear that it is, in fact, a product. As opposed to recipe made by one guy to annoy the guy who makes your coffee.

I guess anything to keep the dream alive, people.