Rex Reed: The Worst Films of 2013

1. TO THE WONDER
Directed by: Terrence Malick

“Plotless and almost mute, To the Wonder is the kind of fiasco that keeps film-festival programmers salivating and discriminating audiences stampeding toward the exit doors. It’s a simpering yawn that makes The Tree of Life seem like an action thriller with Bruce Willis. It is about … nothing.”

Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams star in To the Wonder.

Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams star in To the Wonder.

2. THE GREAT GATSBY
Directed by: Baz Luhrmann

“I love the publicity quotes by Baz Luhrmann stating that his intention was to make an epic romantic vision that is enormous. Also: overwrought, asinine, exaggerated and boring. But in the end, about as romantic as a pet rock.”

Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby.

Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby.

3. THE FIFTH ESTATE
Directed by: Bill Condon

“Bill Condon and the excellent West Wing writer Josh Singer have failed to make the egomaniacal Julian Assange anything more than an arrogant, quasi-terrorist obsessed with whistle-blowing who grew greedy in his eagerness to rise to the top of the ‘get famous’ business by causing as much chaos and panic as possible.”

The Fifth Estate.

The Fifth Estate.

4. IDENTITY THIEF
Directed by: Seth Gordon

“Identity theft is a real plague that is happening so often that people tremble every time they approach an ATM. It’s a deserving subject that should be explored in a more viable film, but Identity Thief is so bad it’s hard to believe it wasn’t directed by Judd Apatow or the Farrelly Brothers.”

Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman in Identity Thief.

Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman in Identity Thief.

5. THE LONE RANGER
Directed by: Gore Verbinski

Johnny Depp as Tonto in The Lone Ranger.

Johnny Depp as Tonto in The Lone Ranger.

6. HER
Directed by: Spike Jonze

Joaquin Phoenix in Her.

Joaquin Phoenix in Her.

7. SPRING BREAKERS
Directed by: Harmony Korine

Springbreakers

Spring Breakers.

8. INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS
Directed by: Joel and Ethan Coen

Oscar Isaac stars in Inside Llewyn Davis.

Oscar Isaac stars in Inside Llewyn Davis.

9. OLDBOY
Directed by: Spike Lee

“A preposterous narrative, illogical red herrings, trick endings, bad acting and—shazam!—Spike Lee turns into M. Night Shyamalan! Remakes are always odious, but to recycle a pretentious underground mixture of the soporific and the supernatural, imported from Seoul, comes pretty close to a display of bankrupt imagination, if you ask me.”

Josh Brolin in Oldboy.

Josh Brolin in Oldboy.

10. CHARLIE COUNTRYMAN
Directed by: Fredrik Bond

“Neither the gibberish by writer Matt Drake that passes itself off as a screenplay nor the sleepwalking direction of Fredrik Bond provides a single attempt at character development. The result is the most idiotic excess of sex and bloodshed since Only God Forgives.”

Shia LaBeouf in Charlie Countryman.

Shia LaBeouf in Charlie Countryman.

READ REX REED’S PICKS FOR THE BEST MOVIES OF 2013

observed1 Rex Reed: The Worst Films of 2013

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