How Drunk Can You Get on the LIRR? (Video)

JOE BONO!

JOE BONO!

There was one summer, before I started senior year, where I had to commute into the city to work every day on the MetroNorth. Ironically, my job was in Starbucks in Grand Central, as if I couldn’t have just found a Starbucks in Larchmont to save myself the trip, but I wanted to feel like, “Hey, I live in the city and this is what I’m doing now.” I was Mary Tyler Moore-ing my life: #LooksLikeIMadeItAfterAll.

Even on MetroNorth, the weekend evenings were the worst. Sure, it wasn’t the Long Island railway to hell/Levittown that one must board in Penn Station in order to be amongst the most wasted individuals on Earth every Friday night, but it was close. So does Corey Cohen’s brilliant “Off-Peak: ‘Have You Peaked‘” exactly represent my experiences as a young, white woman riding the train to a different part of New York? No, but to put such a fine a point on it would be to ruin this entire, beautiful experience.

Besides, later I would ride LIRR in order to get to Montauk and would run into guys like Joe Bono all the time. JOE BONO, WHAT’S GOING ON!