How Else Could Businessweek Awkwardly Convey That Facebook Is Turning Ten?

Facebook Hits PubertyBloomberg Businessweek unveiled a cover story on Facebook’s ten year anniversary. “Facebook Hits Puberty,” reads the headline, layered over a large photo of Mark Zuckerberg, clad in his signature hoody, arms crossed.

“‘Puberty.’ Not a word one often sees on the cover of a magazine. I wonder if there’s a reason for that,” the self-aware magazine wrote in a behind the scenes look at how the cover got made.

It’s true! There is a reason for that. Puberty is awkward. Even the word puberty is awkward. 

Leaving aside the fact that we thought that ten was a bit early to puberty (apparently, ten is the new twelve when it comes to human development) and the fact that “hitting puberty” is usually the just start of the awkward stage, we wondered what other headlines Businessweek could have used to convey the idea that the social media network is now a pubescent tween. 

Here are some ideas:

What’s Happening to My Body? Facebook Turns 10

Facebook Finds Its Father’s Playboy Collection 

Are You There God? It’s Me, Facebook

Facebook Is Old Enough To Be Interviewed About Tween Culture

Facebook Needs a Training Bra

Facebook Wants To Start Washing Its Own Sheets

Facebook Unfriends Its Parents On Facebook

It Got It!!! Facebook Becomes A Woman

Facebook Should Probably Shave Soon

Facebook Starts Experimenting With Mini Drugstore Deodorants

Facebook May Want To Delete All Its Pictures For The Next Five Years

Facebook, Three Years Away From Its Bar Mitzvah