A Dramatic Transcription of Courtney Love’s New Web Show, #CourtneyOn

Yesss

Yesss


In which Courtney Love shows us her range of impressions, including “Crazy person impersonating Nancy Grace,” and “¿¿¿WTFF¿¿¿”


If you watch Nancy Grace you are like “Oh them goths, you know them goths, they’re taking Oxycontin!”

(Weird voice) Where is little Tina? Where is little Tina tonight??
(Unintelligible) Snowden, can you tell me what a pentagram means?

SHUT UP!
That’s not what that means! That means Satan!

And then there’s my favorite, the sign-off, “Goodnight, friends!”

Twenty thousand people moshing, and then you stage-dive, hit floor, get back onstage, I didn’t know my knee was bleewding and there was a puddle of blood. I finished that show. I played 45 more minutes and then got 28 stitches!

Look at my alter, flowers. Look at my new fruits. It’s very bountiful.

Mnom mnom mnom mnom mnom.

Um, Kim Kardashian has a very pretty face.

(Scene)

We so can’t wait. TWIBEL!