February 14th, in all its glory, is paradoxically the best and worst day of the year.
It all depends on your plans.
“Best” applies when you’re renewing your vows with your longtime lover or splitting a bottle of merlot with your sweetheart over a candlelit dinner at a restaurant that’s at least twice as luxurious as anywhere you’d typically go.
“Worst” applies when you’re binge Netflixing with your friends Ben, Jerry, and Papa John.
The latter sounds bad enough, right?
Today, The Observer sunk to a new love day low that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemies.
Can you say you’ve been stood up by a sewage treatment plant on Valentine’s Day? Because we can.
In an effort to bring some “alternative” Valentine’s Day activities to NYC, the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant in Brooklyn planned to host tours of the facility including the landmark disaster eggs on the most romantic day of the year.
With no handsome beau or sweet suitors for the perfect day, The Observer thought, “why not? It’ll be a shitty Valentine’s Day either way.”
En route to Brooklyn, we found ourselves in a sea of bouquet sidewalk sales and red day-to-night dresses that were just flirty enough as we began to dread the accompaniment of too-cute couples that would surely make the tour a sad, lonely excuse for a V-Day plan.
“I guess the Disaster Eggs will have to be our date,” we thought as we embarrassingly hoped they’d surprise us with chocolates and roses.
But it seems the eggs had other plans.
The tours were cancelled and we were stood up before 11 am. That has to be a new record.
House of Cards it is!