This Interview With Venmo’s Lucas Makes Us Want to Punch Him Just a Little Less

Riding the subway these past two months, one name has been all consuming in our minds.

Who are you Lucas?

Mystery man.

Why is Venmo plastering your face all over the station? For that matter, what the hell is Venmo? Why should we care that you do such mundane things, like take the stairs or have dreams? What in God’s name is up with your mustache?

Why do we want to punch you in the face so hard?

Is it because we hate doing things, like climbing the stairs or having dreams? Is it because our mustaches have been described as “stay ten yards from the playground” on a good day? Stop making us evaluate ourselves, Lucas.

Well, we are in luck. FastCompany secured an interview with the mustachioed mystery man, who wouldn’t you know it—is actually just a software engineer at Venmo, a money exchanging app.

The interview answers (most of) our questions. Choice selections include Lucas describing why he takes the stairs (“I live in a walk-up in Brooklyn”) and the story behind the ‘stache (“We shot the ads during Movember”).

This helps. A little.