Busted: Study Shows We're All Still Watching a Ton of TV

The jig is up.

We're not necessarily watching it this creepily, though.

We’re not necessarily all watching it this creepily, though.

Time to hang up the “we barely even watch TV anymore, really” impressive dinner party conversation-starter.

New numbers from Nielsen show that Americans are still watching nearly 34 hours of television — actual televised programming, viewed through a TV set — per week, Recode reports.

The biggest offenders are the 65+ set, who get in 50.5 hours in front of the set per week, the lucky ducks. Eighteen-to-24-year-olds are only watching 22.5 hours per week, because Vine videos don’t count as television.

Live TV time has dropped off a bit, Recode says, thanks to increased use of DVR and video on demand offerings. Combine our hours of live TV with “time-shifted content,” though, and the total time we’re watching TV has increased.

This news kind of makes us wish we invested in a pair of Lazyglasses before the True Detective finale. Oh, well, there’s always Mad Men.